9:43 PM

CHAINED THOUGHTS


"You can’t control the course of your relationship or the actions of your partner, but remember that you’re welcome to exercise free will and make the changes you find necessary. If you’re not happy, leave. Someone loved you once and someone will love you again. 
Remember that someone loves you. Maybe it’s one or both of your parents, maybe it’s your friends, maybe it’s your partner. If it’s all three, consider yourself lucky. Remember to love back. "
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"I can’t love you because I’m so tired of love; its commitments and risks. I can’t love you because I don’t know if you’re worth the commitment or the risk and I’m not willing to find out the hard way, although I sincerely hope that one day I will be. I can’t love you because I don’t want to, and sometimes I’m afraid that makes me a bad person. "
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" You thought love was going to solve all your problems and it didn’t — sometimes it actually caused more — but it was worth it. Every fight, every misunderstanding, every moment of it. You realized that it’s not love’s job to make you happy. It comes and goes. The only person you have to be happy with and truly love is yourself. "
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 " It’s just a sad, universal truth that there are people we love a lot who don’t really love us back. Whether platonic or romantic (or even, sadly enough, familial) there are always going to be these uneven relationships in which one person is constantly left feeling as though their emotions and their desires are a mild irritant. There are going to be friends we go out of our way for who never quite acknowledge us in return, who will never be there to listen to our problems, who will never drive out in the middle of the night to pick us up when we’re in trouble — no matter how much we do these things for them. And there are going to be lovers with whom we long to construct an entire relationship, but with whom we will always feel stuck at the frustrating “beginner phase” where no exchanges go beyond the superficial. It just happens.
The most difficult thing, it seems, is being able to admit when your love is going nowhere. " 
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" To break the cycle and force yourself to stop initiating contact, to stop making effort, and to stop caring about their response — that is much harder. That means admitting that you have lost a battle you didn’t even want to acknowledge you were fighting. But when we’re trying to get someone to love us back, it’s always a battle. And it’s one we’re almost always guaranteed to lose " 
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" Fall in and out of love. Rinse and repeat. Remember all of the highs and lows and surround yourself with the memories. They serve as reminders that you were once loved. They remind you, good or bad, that you’re worth loving. "


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