11:45 PM


Aside from making a promise to myself (starting tonight) to try and write a post once a week or once in two weeks, I think it is about time to tell you that I have ber-hijab. 

As expected, people asked me ' Why? '

I think I've created so many reasons why to different people just because I myself can't explain why. I had phases where I felt so guilty of my sins and started crying on my bed. But it was always brief, a few days then I was like ' Oh well..' .

Then after a few family incidents in the house, I had the same feeling again. This time, that night I just couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about it, and thought maybe instead of just waiting it out and let that feeling just fade away. The next morning, I told myself ' get yourself to the shop, buy a hijab and put it on! ' At the same time, I thought with dark clouds surrounding our family, maybe it would make my parents proud.  Still hoping, I feel I let them down everyday.

Another note, things have not really changed at home. I'm still emotionally stressing in regards to family but I feel I have improved a lot and am happy with who I am right now. That's because I now have someone who is able to fill the gaps that I need. I'm more calm, I value little things more, I live my life so much simpler. I have him to thanked for, and I pray that he will be the one bringing me closer to happiness on dunya and akhirah. 

truly at peace
with themselves
are far
too rare.
                                                — Michelle K.Loving Yourself.

1 comment

  1. Millie I am so happy for you! I know, people asked me why a lot too when I first started wearing. For me it's not a question of how or why. Instead of asking why ppl should just say, alhamdulillah or something and stop haha. But of course ppl get curious. When I saw you wearing hijab I just felt very happy for you. Because you have received hidayah Allah, and that's a wonderful thing to have.

    I hope you will feel even more better about yourself and everything else around you. You're so hardworking and lovely, inshaAllah things will come together for you soon.



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